“Expect rain” says Siri most mornings in Newcastle. Yesterday we left Oxford for
Newcastle, by train. Actually we left in half a train. Our train had 4 cars instead of
the usual 8. There was however much more than half a crowd waiting to board.
Gentleman that I am, I carried both my wife’s luggage and mine onto the
abbreviated train, by which time only one of us got a seat. I was stuck in the back
car, car number 4, with the luggage and 7 young soccer players on route to
Glasgow. “Make some noise, bro,” said one player to his friends so as not to
experience the emptiness of crowded silence. They used profanity relatively often,
but their Brittish enunciation was remarkably crisp and clear and elegant. They
spoke mainly about cars, and being cheated at work, and how to get a proper seat
on this overfilled semi-train…This part of the trip took about 1.5 hours, but since
there were only 8 of us in that space, it wasn’t horrible. Fortunately I was able to
lean against a wall and read some Latin on my phone (“mirabile dictu!”).
Accompanying us was a member of the train staff stuck in her cabin in car 4,
unable to push her cart down the aisle to sell chips, peanuts, tea, etc…as is done
under normal circumstances.

Having survived that ride, we needed to take a second train to get to
Newcastle, our final destination. I was determined to get on board early enough to
get seats for both of us this time around. First we went upstairs for a cup of coffee,
and to prepare ourselves psychologically for our next travel experience. When we
returned to the platform, the crowds had already thickened. We were standing near
a group of train workers dressed in red and black uniforms; we assumed they knew
strategically where to wait. A traveler more lost than we were approached the
group and asked, “Do you work here?” “No, I just like to dress this way!” replied
the snarky railway employee. Soon we and our fellow crowd were ordered to keep
moving ahead, further up the track…since this train would only have 4 cars instead
of the usual 8! another half-train!! The rush of people boarding happened so
quickly—as implied by the word “rush”… “You get seats, I’ll get the luggage!” I
said, having learned nothing from my previous experience. Those were the last
words I spoke to my wife for the next 2+ hours during which I was pinned, again
in the 4th car, the last chamber, together with 8, then 10, then 12 fellow trapped
travelers. The young staff person who pushes the cart down the aisle, under normal circumstances,

was also trapped with us. All was quiet for a couple of stops until I
said, remembering the soccer player’s advice to “make noise”… “Is Edinburgh the
last stop?” That opened up a conversation that bonded the 8,10,12 of us. “At least
no one can fall over!” I joked. My fellow travelers turned out to be kind and
considerate. One older woman complained that she needed to sit. We made a place
for her. “I think she’s diabetic” said another woman, whose husband was the
doctor. We gave her peanuts and water. The doctor and his wife discussed
alternative ways to get to Durham, their final destination. Another young woman
with redish hair was reading a paperback whose title was out of range. She had
been traveling from Australia for more than 24 hours. “All was going well until
today!” she shared with the group, intimating that this wrinkle in her trip was to be
expected.
“Expect rain!” advises Siri…We were bound by our fatalism, but determined
to make light of it. “This is like a Hitchcock film” I joked again “people keep
getting on a crowded train until they all go mad!” This was not so funny as my
previous quip, but my train mates nodded politely. The mutual concern and
understanding was palpable in that crowded 4th car. I appreciated my fellow
travelers. Eventually we were able to find seats in the main cabin, where the air at
least was better, but still there was not enough room for the staff person to push the
cart down the aisle to sell refreshments, as is usual under normal circumstances.
“Expect rain!” says Siri. Wise advice.
I give crowded trains 1 star, but pleasant strangers 5.